Teething Troubles
by Sinister Scribe
Summary: Sequel to Midlife Crisis. Read that one first if you wanna know what the hell is going on. Rated for the usual adult language and sitches.
1. Chapter 1

**Some people have been requesting updates of the House variety. This has been sitting on my hard drive for…well, since about the time I finished the last story. **

**As I've said before, I've kind of gone off House , for various reasons, but I AM buying season five (at a bloody bargain of a price, it might be added) and I've just bought a laptop which means I can write when at the man shape's house too. **

**Translation: hopefully many more updates on the way. **

**Enjoy. **

**Chapter 1 - Want**

Doctor Gregory House was decidedly not bored.

In fact, if the last week had taught him anything, he was never going to be bored again.

He felt tired, hot, itchy, harangued, harassed, confused, alarmed, discombobulated and generally so far out of his league that he was playing an entirely different sport.

"I think I know what the problem is." A voice issued from the hallway.

"You've narrowed it down to just one?" House spoke over his shoulder and used the crook of his cane to sweep a baby rattle out from under the bed. He had never realised how much work baby proofing was. He had spent most of the morning trying to look at the world from the viewpoint of a being without the cognitive capacity to be frightened. Katy trusted him instinctively to keep her safe from all harm, it was kind of cute…and completely terrifying.

House had never been responsible for anything before. Not anything of great import anyway. Steve was fairly self sufficient and only really craved his food pellets and a cleaned cage once every few days. Oh, what about the rat? He was a sewer rat, no vaccinations, Katy had been all over the place. She'd put everything in her mouth. What if she'd picked up salmonella? E-coli? Lymes Disease…

"Breathe." A sharp finger jabbed him in the stomach and House sucked in a surprised breath and looked down at Angelina St Croix.

"Yeah, you need more space."

"So I've been told." House muttered and laboured to his feet. He turned in time to see Katy crawling into the room as fast as her arms and legs could carry her. They both watched Katy cross the room and then sit back onto the hardwood flooring with a nappy cushioned thump before thrusting her hands out and wordlessly demanding the rattle that House held.

House wisely handed it over. He had fast learned that his life was a lot easier and a lot quieter if he just acquiesced to whatever demands Katy made of him.

House fished under the bed for more abandoned toys.

He had also learned pretty quickly that he had to constantly tidy up after the sprog if he didn't want to kill himself by tripping over something in the middle of the night while he limped to the bathroom. Fool him once…

"There's plenty of space." House told his social worker/parent guide and hauled himself to his feet once more.

"Yeah, sure, for a confirmed bachelor but not for baby and daddy."

"I'm not her dad." House denied it without much conviction and the arched brow Angelina was sending his way knew it.

"Uh-huh, you just turned your life upside down for something barely over a foot long for kicks." She smirked wryly at him. She scanned the bedroom, now complete with crib and scattered with play-mat and 'educational' toys. "You've done a good job in here but you're going to have to watch this." Angelina stepped over Katy and picked up a small orange bottle with a rattle.

House's hand went to his jeans pocket and he swore softly.

"And that." Angelina smiled at him again. "It'll get easier." She tossed the bottle to him and House caught his vicodin one handed and jammed it into his pocket without allowing himself to take one.

"You got a time frame on that?" He scrubbed a hand over his face and snagged Katy and hauling her out from under the exploration of the bed. He remembered his antique medical chest and retrieved it to stuff it high in his closet.

"The getting easier part? Sure, it happens after she leaves for college…but then you start worrying about who she's dating, if some idiot's gonna give her a mickey at a party…you know. Dad stuff."

House glared at her and she grinned back, unrepentant.

"You are going to have to get a bigger place though. Casa Del House is getting a tad cramped as is. She is going to eventually need her own room as well." Angelina missed the bombshell of what he had really gone and done hitting House. He had really done it. Signed up for the whole parenting gig. Something he had told himself he would never do. He felt his skin crawl with panic, his breathing shallow out and a cold sweat pop out on his brow, he was this close to just blowing his stack and throwing himself into all out hysteria.

"Moving on!" Angelina seemed to sense his mood and moved to distract him. She slung her massive bag, that she seemed to tote everywhere with her, around her body and rummaged inside for a moment. With a muffled 'ah-hah' she yanked out several print-outs and a small ring binder. "Got in contact with that realtor friend of mine." Angelina apparently had friends _everywhere_. "He picked out a whole bunch of properties for you two, there's bound to be something suited to y'all."

"What's that?" House took the print outs from her and jerked his chin at the binder in her hand.

"This is 'Parenting 101'." She held up the binder and that was indeed the title scrawled in permanent marker over the top of the folder. It looked more like a photo album now that he studied it properly. One of those ones with the frame on the front where you could stick the first photo. It had been left empty, presumably so he could put a photograph in there himself.

"Anyways, inside is basically everything you need to know that you won't find in the regular books. I've amassed this over _years_ of baby wrangling and there are some people that would give their eye teeth for the secrets I have locked in here." She poked him with the corner of the book to illustrate her point. "This is your bible. Learn it, live it, love it. It goes _everywhere_ with you. We clear?"

"Sure." House nodded enthusiastically. Instruction manuals were good. He could use all the help he could get. He flipped through it and saw that the book was made up of scraps of other parenting books with some of the paragraphs and words scored out and supplanted with red ink annotations, Polaroid photographs of some of the more complex hints and tips recommended and spaces left for adding his own knowledge if he ever managed to get the hang of this whole parenting malarky.

He saw a movement out the corner of his eye and flipped his cane end over end so he could use the hook of it to snag the back of Katy's dungarees and scoot her back out from under the bed again. She slid across the hardwood floor easily enough and he stooped to pick her up and turn her a one eighty, arms and legs still churning under her, to send her speeding in the opposite direction.

"Nicely done, I'll need to add a section about the handy use of canes."

"So long as I get a patent on it." House muttered and scrutinised some of the pages in his new book carefully. This thing was a gold mine.

"Uh-huh, read that later." Angelina flipped the book shut on his fingers and then waved the print outs at him. "We need to discuss these and then I gotta make tracks."

"What about them?" House realised he couldn't see Katy any more and hurried out of the room to find her. He had spent the last few days baby-proofing his apartment under the fierce instruction of Angelina, but the ever present paranoia of something happening to the little tyke didn't seem to be abating. There were times when he convinced himself that it was entirely possible that she might just spontaneously combust on him…and then the nagging thought that he might actually be upset if she were to do so.

House still didn't really know why had had decided to start the adoption proceedings and he convinced himself on a daily basis that there was still time and he could change his mind right up until the last minute…he'd yet to ask Angelina how to revoke his decision though and he had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't about to do any such thing.

"You need to at least _look_ at them." Angelina followed him into the living room where House was snagging Katy up as she tried to climb onto the coffee table. She watched as he deposited Katy into the playpen in the corner of the room and then swooped down and picked her up again when she looked like she was about to start fussing. He settled Katy in the crook of his arm, unearthed the favoured bear from under a baby blanket and an oversized tennis ball and offered it to her before turning his attention back to Angelina. Katy contented to suck on her bear's ear.

"What?"

"Yeah, y'all need to take a gander at these." Angelina crossed to him and held the papers out to him. She even took Katy when he couldn't shuffle through them one handed. Angelina bounced Katy on her hip like the pro she was and watched House while he flipped through the papers. He discarded several of them off hand and stilled when he reached the last one.

He frowned fiercely at the paper. Studying the specs of the house on offer, didn't glance at the price, she noted, and then stared at the GoogleMap printed on the last sheet. He seemed to do some rapid calculations and then a quite Machiavellian grin spread over his lips. He thrust the papers out to her and pointed at the house he'd picked.

"When can I see this one?"

"Uh, well, I don't know." They swapped papers for baby again and Angelina looked over the house. "It says it's empty so…I suppose whenever."

"As soon as possible." House grinned at the room in general. A distinct glint of mayhem in his eye as he bounced Katy. "Please." He added as an after thought.

"Okay, I'll call my guy." Angelina set a reminder on her Blackberry and then dropped it back into her bag, stuffed in there with the papers. "I'd better be going. You get that kiddy fed." She pointed at Katy and then reached over to ruffle her blonde curls. House limped her to the door. She drew her coat over her shoulders and House swung the door open only to blink in surprise when he was nearly rapped sharply on the nose by Cuddy's fist. She caught herself at the last moment and everybody rocked back in surprise at her arrival.

Angelina was the first to move or say anything.

"Wow, hi there!" She stuck her hand out and Cuddy shuffled the grocery bag she was toting and took it to shake numbly. "I'm Angelina, Greg didn't tell me that he'd been hiding away another woman in his life." She grinned brightly and House hid a wince admirably. It was plain to him that Cuddy was getting the very much wrong idea. He knew that Angelina was referring to Katy and not herself…he doubted that Cuddy would see it that way though. Angelina, being the sensitive woman that she was, picked up on the soup thick tension simmering between the two doctors. "I'll be going then…as soon as I find my keys…" She patted down her pockets. "Oh, they're in the bedroom, be right back." She whirled on her heel and clattered down the hallway.

Silence reigned in her absence. Neither of them had moved by the time Angelina clopped her way back through into the doorway and stopped snapping her fingers and rummaging for a pen in her pockets before bending to lean on the hallway table, scribbling on a business card.

"This is the Maison number on there and my work number. You've already got my cell. You need anything, just give me a call. Now buh-bye, cutie and behave for Daddy Nouveau." Angelina straightened and stuffed the business card into House's nearest pocket, a move that had Cuddy's eyes sharpening to flint. He glowered back. He had done nothing to encourage this, Angelina just didn't have any personal space. At all.

"Bye then, 'scuze me." Angelina sidled past Cuddy, grinning at the other woman's icy expression a trifle nervously and then made a dash for her car.

Silence swallowed up the room again and was only finally broken when Katy leant forward towards Cuddy, reaching for her.

"You gonna come in?" House was tired of holding the door open.

"Yes." Cuddy blurted, stepping inside. "I brought lunch. Like you asked." There was a slight note of censure in her tone and House resisted the urge to glare.

"Angelina was just…"

"Not my business." Cuddy clacked through to the kitchen and set the groceries on the table with a thump.

"Helping me baby-proof." He finished doggedly. This was turning into a big ol' step in the wrong direction and he wasn't going to tolerate that. The last couple of days he had managed to monopolise Cuddy's attention. Their relationship had changed. He wasn't quite sure how yet, that simmer of lust between them had definitely been put onto full burn, though he had chosen not to act on it. Letting her twist in the wind over it for a while. He wanted her to come to him. He could be patient. It was just a matter of time, this could prolong that time though.

"In the bedroom?" The question was stridently out of Cuddy's mouth before she could stop it.

"It's her job. She's anal about me not killing anyone. Wonder who that reminds me of." House snarked and then changed tack when he saw her spine stiffen. He defended himself, wondering why he was bothering. "I don't know what to do, Angelina does, she was available and you weren't."

"House, it's none of my business." Cuddy was viciously emptying the grocery bag onto the table. Soup and sandwiches for lunch apparently.

"Then why are you angry?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Katy jumped at the sudden harsh words and whimpered in surprise. She didn't like shouting, especially from Cuddy.

"Oh, honey." Cuddy was immediately contrite. She crossed the room and cupped Katy's face in her hands. "Don't cry, baby." Katy reached for her and House let Cuddy take her from him. His broad hand rubbed over the baby's back and Katy quieted almost immediately. He noticed that she was only truly settled when both of them were near her. Cuddy and House together soothed the kid.

Warped.

House turned his attention to what Cuddy was wearing. It was a Saturday, which meant smart casual for her half day at the hospital. Which had actually been a half day because he had wheedled lunch from her. She wore a white skirt with red strawberries flowering over it in a swirling pattern, cream V-neck sweater that clung soft everywhere and her pearls at her throat. The red stilettos went without saying really.

Strawberries and cream, now there was some nourishment that House could fantasise over.

"I'm confused."

House dragged his eyes back up Cuddy's body, taking his time, but meeting her gaze head on over Katy's curls. He frowned slightly.

"Hmm?"

"You're not acting like…_you. _It's throwing me off."

"You think I'm going to get bored. Give up on her. Give her away." The reasoning behind Cuddy's logic was perfectly sound. House did not _do_ the kind and caring thing. He could barely stand to be civil to his best friend, never mind an innocent child but…the thought of anyone trying to take her away from him now was…abhorrent to him. His lips twisted in a wry smirk and he glanced out the kitchen window, hooking his cane over one of the kitchen chairs, he tipped forward until he caught himself on the counters, his face inches from Cuddy's now. "Not happening." There was a cool finality to his voice.

"Everybody lies." She repeated his mantra to him softly but the words stung despite his resolve against them.

He shook his head. He was messed up, more than usual that was. He had urges along paternal railings that he'd never even thought about before, never mind felt. He was swinging between some kind of hysterical bubble of excitement frothing in his chest to heart clamping terror of the magnitude of what he was taking on to cool calm resolve of one thing and one thing only. He knew what was _his. _

Katy was now his, by extension of obligation and then by choice.

Cuddy was _going_ to be his.

House was not a gambler. He was a calculator of odds, a caller of bluffs and a risk taker when it suited him. The phrase 'the House always wins' had new meaning when put in context with a certain diagnostician.

"They do." He rumbled at her, leaning a little closer, watching her squirm a little. This was what he did. Baited, teased, tortured until he got what he wanted. "What are you worried about, Cuddy? I've always been unpredictable. Now I'm just being unpredictable in new ways."

"I can't…manage you this way." She swallowed hard and finally found her voice.

"So, thaaaat's it." He shifted his weight, looming closer. He was a big guy, looming was his thing when he wanted it to be. "This is about whether or not I'm a greater flight risk. Now, would that be in the hospital…or just to you personally?"

Cuddy shifted Katy on her hip and visibly gathered herself.

"My interest in your risks, flight or otherwise, have always been in regards to our professional relationship."

"You admit we have a relationship?" He arched a brow at her and her temper flared in her eyes. She was even prettier like this. Easy to see why he L-worded her. he still refused to say it, even to himself in the sanctity of his own head. It had recently become a lot more of a battleground between his angels and his devils in there and he didn't see the point in adding more fuel to the fire.

"Well," he took an insane pleasure in watching her flounder. "I've known you a long time, it's kind of a default thing."

"Hmm." He was wrapping one of her curls around his finger and, pinned between him, baby and counter as she was, there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. He watched a flush begin to creep up her throat and his mouth hooked into a bit more of a grin at the action. "Tell me, what's your default position on years of unresolved sexual tension?" He lowered himself onto one elbow on the counter and crowded her even more, the only thing separating them now was Katy.

"Sexual tension?" She practically squeaked. "Between who?"

This time his grin was wolfish.

"Don't act dim, Milfette. Contrary to popular belief, I don't like dumb bimbos."

"Milf…?" Cuddy trailed off in outrage and opened her mouth to tear a strip out of him. He stopped her incredibly effectively by leaning very close to her (yes, closer still) so close his mouth brushed hers when he spoke.

"I'm hungry." He growled at her.

Her head tilted back, her eyes grew heavy. "Hungry for what?" There was a throaty quality to her voice that just tickled him all kinds of good.

"Lunch, of course." He straightened away from her, rocked back and snagged his cane up off of the chair back. He grinned at her brightly, not above enjoying her forlorn and faintly embarrassed expression at being left in the lurch, and started emptying soup cartons from the grocery bags. "You want to sort something for the sprog?"

"Sure." She croaked. She was now a rather charming shade of pink and he hid a smile while retrieving a saucepan for the soup.

Oh yeah, she totally wanted him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, a whole two updates in as many…somethings. **

**Take it while you can get it kiddies. This is as creative as I get these days. **

**Reviews are love.**

**Chapter 2 - Murder in Mind**

Cuddy awoke in the morning to an unearthly sound.

She could hear Katy shrieking in the distance. Probably the kitchen. House was murmuring in a deep rumble to her and it all sounded very idyllic.

This was the start of her bad day.

Which had followed a bad night.

Saturday had been…difficult.

Usually, she could handle House. Sure, he was difficult and cantankerous and annoying as hell, but that was how they worked together. He flew off the handle and she reeled him back in. Now, though, he appeared to be operating off a different handle. One that Cuddy had no idea how to operate or where to attach her leash to, never mind how to begin the reeling mechanism.

Though she was definitely reeling.

She was beginning to get the feeling that her problems were just starting.

Problem number one, was that House had set her firmly in his sights. Those sights never wavered. House obsessed. It was just what he did. Usually that was fine, she worked it to her advantage. He was an asset to the hospital. He brought in donors who she could shuck for cash. His prestige added to her prestige, in that way, they were good together.

She had a feeling, a very strong feeling, that House had an entirely different kind of togetherness in mind when he looked at her now.

Which was why Saturday had been difficult.

It wasn't that she'd had to fend him off. He was still mimicking the perfect boyfriend behaviour when it suited him. One minute he'd be snarking and irritable, the next -usually when she was just about to blow her stack at him- he'd turn all amicable and courteous. Rubbing shoulders with her and any other body parts he could sidle up against. Brushing her hair back. Making her coffee…she'd known he'd been up to something and had been relieved when he'd asked her to Katy-sit for him for a while.

He had been buttering her up. It was cool. He wanted to jet for an hour, have some House time. He'd come back and be his usual bastard self and everything would go back to the slightly whacked status quo they were at now. She'd gladly taken Katy in exchange for that.

House had sloped off on his bike and Cuddy had been left to Katy's tender mercies.

She had fussed a little bit as they had waved House off from the window, but she and Cuddy had soon been absorbed in the important business of strewing Katy's new toys all over the recently tidied apartment. Then had come bath time…and then the trouble began.

**$inister $cribe**

_**Last Night**_

"Hey, baby-girl." Cuddy stooped and picked Katy up off the floor. "Bath time!"

Katy looked at her with a puckering of her tiny brows.

"Oh, you've been around him too long already if you've got the House pout." Cuddy teased her and pressed her button nose.

Katy giggled.

She ambled them both into the bathroom and set Katy on the floor. She carefully worked the baby out of her little clothes. Kneeling on the bath rug, Cuddy tested the water one last time and then lowered Katy into it. Katy burbled a little uncertainly and looked about herself. Cuddy supposed the bath was a little too big for her, but House didn't have a baby bath and it was this or the questionable hygiene of the kitchen sink.

Katy whimpered and reached for Cuddy.

"Scary, huh?" Cuddy sympathised. "I know." Cuddy pulled Katy from the bath, set her on the mat so she looked up at her and then went about removing her own clothes. She'd tied her hair up earlier so it wouldn't be a problem to keep it out of the water and she had plenty of time to get in and out before House got back.

He'd said something about going to see a man about a dog.

Cuddy had took that to mean hair of the dog and assumed that he'd be back from Wilson's later and a little less than sober. She was always cleaning up his messes and making sure that he didn't get anyone hurt with his intoxication, narcotic or otherwise. She wasn't surprised that she didn't feel surprise at this being included into his foray into the parenting world.

"There, see? Not so bad now." Cuddy picked up Katy and stepped into the bath. The water was tepid at best but she didn't mind the cool temperature as long as Katy didn't.

Now that she had a playmate, Katy seemed much happier in her bath. She giggled and splashed and let Cuddy clean her without fussing at all.

The moment Cuddy realised that she had gone from bath water to hot water was when his voice issued from right over her left shoulder.

"Very nice."

Cuddy went ramrod straight and twisted so hard that she swished the water and nearly gave herself whiplash.

"House!"

"One and only." He lifted a palm and then frowned. "Well, not anymore I suppose. Does the sprog count yet?"

Cuddy was frozen. She couldn't move. House was standing right behind her, filling the doorway and she was completely naked.

Safe to say she'd never been in this situation before and was at a loss as to what to do about it.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" He took a step into the bathroom.

"Don't move!"

He deliberately took another step.

"I mean it." She warned him.

"Or what?" He smirked. "You'll get up and walk out?"

"This isn't funny." She pulled Katy closer to her chest and tried to think of a way to preserve what little was left of her modesty if not her dignity.

"Hmm, beg to differ." He was standing over her now. She chanced a look up at him and regretted it.

His leather jacket was unzipped, his hair mussed from the helmet and there was a little half smile quirking his lips as his eyes tracked over her.

The water wasn't deep, it lapped at her hips, there were no bubbles so it was as clear as glass and the only thing that was between her and his lecherous gaze was a baby that was reaching out to him to be cuddled.

Cuddy swallowed and mustered whatever dignity she could lay hands on.

"Hand me a towel at least?"

His eyes roved over her and his lips pursed a little, turning the situation over and over. Examining it from every possible angle to put it to his advantage.

"Okay."

"What?" She blurted, surprised that he'd cave so easily.

He was already folding the towel over the side of the bath and holding his hands out to her. She stared at him for a long moment.

"Well? Hand her over." He made a 'gimme' motion with his hands when she just blinked at him. "Hey, unless you're levitating yourself out of there, hand over the urchin so you can get up."

She narrowed her eyes at him and he just looked at her. Expression bland. They could have been discussing the weather for all it mattered to him.

She carefully passed Katy to him and he caught the baby in another towel. Swaddling her up in it and holding her close to his chest. They looked at each other, House nodded once and then turned to leave the room.

Not once glancing at Cuddy.

Cuddy frowned. She looked down at her breasts. Were these things on? What the hell was wrong with him? Wasn't she worth ogling?

Cuddy's face fell into her palm and she bit back a moan. Great. Now she _wanted_ him to ogle her. This wasn't good. Not good at all. For all she knew she was playing right into his hands.

Which might not necessarily be a bad thing, a tiny treacherous voice whispered. He is very good with them after all.

Shut up tiny treacherous voice. Cuddy scowled at herself and then hauled herself up out of the bath. Water sluiced down over her skin and she snagged the towel up as she stepped over the lip of the bath. Had she had more of her mind on where she'd been putting her feet, rather than why exactly she was not so interesting to a man that had been all over her not an hour before, she might have noticed the puddle of water on the floor. The puddle that she blithely stepped into.

Cuddy gave a little whoop as her foot shot out from under her and kicked up over her head.

She clattered her knee of the edge of the bath, battered her elbow on something too and cracked the side of her face against the edge of the sink. The white bathroom went an even whiter shade of pale and the next thing she knew she was lying on the floor and quite unable to move.

"Cuddy?"

She heard House's curious voice down the hallway and struggled to answer. Her body had gone into shock a tiny bit and it was thoroughly of the opinion that she was damn well staying on the bathroom floor where she was until it could do a full system's check and reboot.

"Cuddy!"

Oh goody, he'd noticed her.

By the time he'd thrown himself along the hallway and slid to a halt at her side, she was struggling to her elbows.

"Are you alright?" His hands immediately went to her head, sliding under her hair and combing it out, looking for further evidence of trauma aside from the smear of red at her temple. "Did you lose consciousness?"

"No." Cuddy gasped and winced up into a sitting position. She noticed that the towel was strewn across her lap and that she should probably do something about it, but was momentarily at a loss as to what exactly should be done.

"Which one?" House was tilting her head back and examining her pupils reactions to the bright light overhead.

"Both." She mumbled. She followed his finger as he bounced it about her range of vision and he seemed to relax marginally when she didn't appear to be slipping into a coma.

"What happened?" He demanded. Sounding a little bit pissed.

"Slipped."

"And you didn't think to maybe look where you were putting your feet?" He was dabbing the blood away from her temple and checking the cut underneath at her hairline. "Well, that's gonna leave a mark. Doesn't need stitches."

"Good, 'cause I'm not letting you anywhere near me." Her head was beginning to pound and she was cold. Was it her, or was it really drafty around here?

"Plenty close as it is." He sniffed at her and she remembered the towel abruptly. She gave an alarmed little squeak and snatched it up off the floor, clutching it to her chest.

"Damn, should have kept my mouth shut…what's wrong?" He didn't wait for her answer and seized her elbow instead, turning it so he could see.

"Hit it off something." She winced when he tested the range of the tender joint. It was already bruising an angry red and her entire body tensed whenever he moved it a certain way. "Watch it! That's attached." She snapped at him.

"Quit whining."

He seemed inordinately pissed at her. Cuddy was incredulous. She was the one that had just taken a header on the bathroom floor and _he_ was irritated? She was cranky, naked AND sore…so they should be operating on roughly the same wave length right now.

Aside from the naked part.

Shame, said the tiny treacherous voice. Great, it was back. Surely a sign of concussion.

Shut up, she told it.

"Come on, Katy's in the living room and I'd rather I had you both where I can keep an eye on you." House laboured to his feet and then tugged her up after him. Cuddy's head spun when she reached the high altitude of five two and she staggered against him. His arm went tight around her shoulders and he braced them off the wall as he limped for the door, making sure to tug her in a wide berth around the villainous water puddle by the bath.

"Where's your cane?" She asked him, trying to hold onto the towel, him and support herself against the opposite wall.

"Dropped it." He muttered and focussed on getting to the living room. He looked down at the top of her head. Her hair was dry and knocking her head against the sink had worked it loose from the knot she'd had it in. It tumbled soft about her shoulders and House realised he'd sunk to a new low when he could think of nothing more appropriate to do than jump her right here in the hallway.

Possible concussion be damned.

He was also really pissed at her. What the hell was she doing leaping out the bath head first anyway? He knew that he'd spooked her by interrupting bath time, but he'd never thought she'd go so far as to risk life and consciousness in her hurry to escape him. His heart was still thundering from the sight of her sprawled apparently lifeless on the bathroom floor and his leg was aching from bolting along the hallway to get to her side.

And it was all her fault.

Stupid loveable woman.

"Here. Sit." He thrust her down onto the couch and then turned to inspect Katy. She sat in her play pen, watching the show and chewing on her teddy bear's ear. She giggled at him and bounced on her nappy, waving at him. He smirked at her, content that she wasn't about to test her indestructibility against the furniture too, and fetched his medical kit from its hiding place (very high up and away from small questing fingers). He plopped himself down on the coffee table in front of Cuddy and took a look at the mulish expression on her face.

Her we go.

"I'm fine."

"Uh huh." He cracked open the old leather case and pulled out some antiseptic and gauze.

"Really, I'll just get dressed and…OW!" She jerked away from him when he swiped some of the alcohol over the cut on her brow. "That stings!"

"Which means it's working. Quit squirming." He gripped her chin and made sure that the cut was clean to his satisfaction. He wasn't above being gratified at the little winces she gave now and then. Served her right for scaring ten years off his life. "Give me your elbow."

"Why? You going to get leeches to drain the evil from it?"

"Take a helluva lot of leeches to drain the evil out of you, Shemon." He muttered and began to wrap her elbow.

"Shemon?"

"She demon." He huffed at her. "Shemon." Obviously.

She scowled at him.

He scowled back and finished his bandaging.

"Better?"

"A little." She admitted begrudgingly and cradled her arm on her lap. It was then that he noticed the bruising on her knee.

"You're doing this on purpose." He accused her and wrapped his hands around her leg.

"Hey!" She lashed out with her foot and House shot backwards over the coffee table to avoid being unmanned by her heel. "Stop manhandling me." She tried to pull her leg back and jerked when he simply tightened his hold.

"Believe me, when I'm manhandling you, you'll know it." He growled at her and pulled her leg across his lap to inspect the bruising over her shin and knee. She winced as his fingers travelled over her skin and shivered. He looked up at her and caught her staring a hole into him. She blinked rapidly and tried again to pull her foot back. He held onto it doggedly.

"It's not swollen, House." She tugged again. "Just let me go. I'll get dressed and then I can leave."

"No."

"What?"

House was frozen. He hadn't realised that he'd need an actual reason for having her stay. He just wanted her to and that was it. He blinked at her a moment and searched for some sort of logical cage that he could throw her in so she'd be stuck here with him.

His plan needed proximity and he was going to use every means short of tying her to the furniture in order to get what he wanted.

Now that he thought on it, tying her to the furniture had a certain merit to it…

"Hullo?" She jiggled her foot on his lap. He was stroking her insole. He liked the arched shape of her feet. Her little toes too.

He didn't have a foot fetish, he told himself. He had a Cuddy fetish.

"You've had a head trauma. No way I'm letting you drive. You're staying here. With me." Had he put a little too much emphasis on that? "And we're staying up until I'm convinced that it's safe for you to sleep." He told her with a finality that brooked no argument so, naturally…

"I'm not concussed. I'm fine."

He stared at her hard.

"Besides, what will we do all night?"

His only reply was a wicked grin.

**$inister $cribe**

_**Right Now**_

Another shriek brought Cuddy back to the real world with a bump.

She burrowed deeper under the duvet that smelled of House and tried not to enjoy it too much. She was warm and cosy and she didn't want to get out of bed.

Usually, she threw aside the sheet and rolled out of bed as soon as the alarm went off.

Usually, however, she didn't have a swollen elbow, throbbing head or battered knee contend with. She also usually had a little more than a paltry hour's sleep under her belt too.

She could feel the luggage set under her eyes and she wasn't really in the mood to roll out and face the real world just yet. She was quite content in her little House scented cocoon that she'd made for herself.

House had kept his word and made sure she'd stayed awake for the better part of the night. It had involved putting Katy down in her little crib at the end of the bed and then dressing Cuddy in an old Michigan sweater and sweat pants that she had to roll up several times just to manage to walk around in them. She had tried to do it herself and had finally had to bite the bullet and ask him to help her when she couldn't unbend her swollen elbow properly to pull on the clothes.

She still wasn't sure if she should be insulted over the matter of fact way he had went about helping her. He hadn't once made a lewd comment or leched on her…that she had seen.

What was with him? Had he suddenly gone off the idea of trying to get in her pants after twenty years?

After a sharp shock at the prospect of that, Cuddy relaxed when she realised that would be a sign of the apocalypse and House certainly had NOT gone off her, she was just too head trauma'd to notice, that was all.

Keeping her up all night had been a thing too. They had stayed up and watched anything and everything that had been on TV. He had made a point of prodding her every so often whenever she was looking particularly dozey and had insisted on periodic check ups of her reflexes and pupils. He'd been obdurately gentlemanly about the entire affair and hadn't tried to grope her once!

…Cuddy was beginning to suspect herself of harbouring feelings for the lanky gimpish oaf.

Nah.

"You awake?"

Cuddy used a finger to twitch aside a patch of duvet and put double the effort into glaring at him since she only had one eye available to do so.

"No, I was sleeping like a baby through all the racket you two were making." She grumped but sat up against her will when he limped into the room with Katy. She took the baby as she was held out to her and cuddled back under the duvet with her precious little charge. Her bad mood was mollified somewhat.

"Somebody's not a morning person." House sat heavily on the bed beside her and rubbed at his leg. He took out the vicodin bottle and rattled it in his hand absently. He pushed it back into his jeans pocket without even opening it. He didn't notice the way Cuddy gaped quietly at that. "Get used to being woken up. It's going to be an hourly occurrence. I still want an MRI."

"We are not wasting good hospital resources on a bump on the head." She told him firmly. Another one of his methods of keeping her awake had been to try and verbally beat her into submitting to going to the hospital as his patient. The words 'hell', 'when' and 'freezes over' sprang to mind, and not necessarily in that order.

"I thought your brain was a hospital resource." He pointed out. "Wouldn't do for you to burst a vessel and let it ooze out your ears because you're too damn stubborn to be a patient."

She scowled at him and decided to change the subject.

"What time is it?"

"Little after ten."

"WHAT?!"

Katy squeaked in alarm as Cuddy thrust her into House's surprised arms. She threw back the covers and bolted from the bed. She reeled a moment as her head took a moment to catch up with the rest of her.

"I'm late. Where are my clothes? Why did you let me sleep in?"

"Oh, get your panties in a bunch…specially since you're not wearing any." He smirked at her and she whirled to glare at him. "Besides, I already called you in sick."

She could feel her neck bones grinding when she turned again to scowl at him incredulously.

"Don't worry, everyone knows they can reach you here." He bounced Katy on his good leg and looked up at her with a grin.

"Here?"

"Yeah, everyone knows that you stayed here last night."

She was going to kill him.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Fresh out the keyboard, kiddies. **_

_**For all y'all out there who waited so (im)patiently for the next installment of this. **_

_**You will be glad to know that the first draft of the novel is nearly finished and, when it is, I'll be taking a break from any sort of serious writing so I can perhaps get back into some fun time writing, i.e. stuff like this. **_

_**Who knows, I may even get some fictions actually finished. **_

_**Reviews are love and please ignore any mistakes I missed. **_

**Just Because I Defended Your Honour Doesn't Mean I Like You**

"Stop sulking."

Cuddy looked up from her perusal of the scratches on the kitchen table and snorted at him.

"You're hardly one to talk." She sniped back at him. She settled Katy more comfortably in the crook of one arm and absently held her bottle for her. She was beginning to outgrow the formula, she'd have to be started on solids soon.

"Yeah, eggs is a good start." House agreed and Cuddy realised suddenly that she'd spoken aloud. Geez, good thing she hadn't been thinking anything private. "I mean it, brighten up a little, you're harshing on my mellow."

"You don't even _have_ a mellow." She glared at him. Her head was beginning to throb. Her arm still hurt and she had the slightest limp because her battered knee was still swollen. She also had a rather nice rainbow hued bruise marring on side of her face. She wondered if she should maybe take House up on that offer of an MRI…but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

Cleaver. Nose. Fuck you, face.

Cuddy scowled at herself and regretted it when another ouchie bloomed in her skull.

"I do. It's usually post coital but, since you're not being very helpful in that area, you'll have to make do with what you can get." House cracked an egg on the side of the jug and slopped it inside with three others. He splashed milk over the top and beat it into submission with a fork. Then he upended the entire mess into the pan. He bent to check the bacon under the grill then dropped four slices of bread into the toaster.

Cuddy blinked.

"You're being domestic." This was just a little too much for her hampered cognitive capacities to take in. "Where are my car keys?" She tried again. "And my purse?"

"You know, I can't rightly remember." House was scribbling the spatula through the eggs with an apparent deep satisfaction.

She scowled at his back. He'd taken them. Stolen them and hidden them. Without them, she couldn't leave. He refused to drive her. Without her car keys she couldn't take herself and without her purse she couldn't pay for a cab.

Apparently, he had her over a barrel. She was stuck here with him.

Incongruously, the first thing he had done with this newfound power over her was to park her in a chair at the table in the kitchen and start breakfast preparations. He hadn't asked her what she wanted (a growing habit of his) he'd just started on enough food to feed a small army.

She had to admit that the eggs and bacon did smell good.

She watched as he limped to the fridge and hauled it open to peruse the contents. She noticed that he had a lot of food. She had somehow expected six packs and some interesting moulds, but not the masses of food the fridge was practically groaning with. There was even fruit and veg, several bottles of formula ready for nuking in the microwave and a large plastic sealed wedge of ham. He hauled that out and slapped it onto the counter by the hob.

Katy hiccupped and Cuddy pulled the empty bottle from her and settled the infant up over her shoulder to burp her. Katy obliged and then willingly settled into Cuddy's arms for a post breakfast doze.

Cuddy was struck then by the surreal quality her life had taken on in the last week and it had nothing to do with her head wound.

Last week, she had wanted to maim House a lot more than she had ever wanted to talk to him. She hadn't spent every third thought dwelling on how good he smelled or the way his eyes hooded when he watched her and thought she wasn't looking. She hadn't known that he could still curl her toes with a single kiss. She hadn't known Katy either, or loved her, or imagined that she would be sitting right here, right now, in an apparently blissful scene of domesticity.

The weirdest thing was probably the breakfast.

She hadn't even known he could cook.

"Just because I don't _usually_ do something doesn't mean I can't." House informed her. "I _can _be civil and polite, but where's the fun in that?" He sliced ham neatly and layered it next to the bacon on the grill. Cuddy could feel her cholesterol rising from across the room.

Cuddy was beginning to realise that she kept saying what she was thinking. Sometimes without realising it, and that was a big problem. Now she not only had to watch what she said around him, but what she thought too.

Oy vey.

"So, whadya wanna do today, boss?" House scrubbed the spatula through the scrambling eggs and she found herself absorbed in the lines of his back.

"I want to go to work."

"Okay, what do you want to do that I'm going to _let_ you do?" House rephrased and she glared at his shoulders. "You're not going to the hospital so you can get over that right now."

"Fine." She went back to sulking. Her head was still pounding, her elbow ached and she didn't even want to think about what her face actually looked like. She searched for some safe activity that she could do. Something that would distract her from him and be useful at the same time.

Now what could…ah. That would have to do, she supposed.

"Christmas shopping." She blurted and he turned to look at her.

"Really?" He took the eggs off the heat and switched off the grill. Slathering butter over the toast, he continued. "Already?"

"It's only a month away."

"Christmas shopping is for Christmas Eve." He told her sagely. "You do Christmas?"

"You do gifts?"

He turned back to the breakfast and seemed to tense for a moment.

"It's been a while. I think I remember how."

"Well, it's different now that you've got Katy." She pointed out.

"She doesn't know what Christmas is." House started plating up breakfast. "To her, it's just another day. Same as me."

"Kids should have Christmas." Cuddy glared at him. It was a _rule_. Well, if it wasn't then it should be. "She deserves a tree and fairy lights and baubles and carols and presents. The more ludicrously expensive the better."

"It's just a stupid holiday invented by Coca Cola. The original Santa wasn't even red!"

"Fine. Give her the Christmas you think she should have, but she still gets one." Cuddy dared him to refute her.

House rattled the plates onto the table, lifted Katy from Cuddy's arms as if in punishment and then took his seat opposite her. He shovelled food into his mouth, to avoid talking to her, and Cuddy daintily picked at her own heaped plate of food. She was wary about letting her guard down…but then the food did smell very good and she was very hungry. She ate, keeping an eye on him, and mentally plotted on how she could escape to the hospital at the soonest opportunity.

She needed to do some damage control. She had no doubt that his claims of having told all and sundry that she had stayed here last night and that she was _still_ there to recover from the wild night were completely true and not exaggerated in the slightest.

The cretin.

She mulled it over some more. Perhaps she could just sail in tomorrow like nothing had ever happened. She was good at that, putting on a face for things. It wasn't like anyone would really believe him, it wasn't the first time that he'd started rumours about them. Hell, she'd bet money was being exchanged at the water coolers right now. Cuddy frowned again but stopped the motion just in time before she got to the blinding pain stage again. It occurred to her that her staff should probably have better and more important things to be doing other than betting on her sex life or lack thereof.

It also occurred to her that she'd have a better chance of stopping the tides than she would stopping her staff gossiping.

"What are you doing for Christmas, then? Since you've evidently converted in the last five minutes." House was finishing his plate of food and looked pointedly at Cuddy, she wasn't even halfway through hers.

"I've not converted, I just believe in a seasonal celebration that isn't necessarily dictated by any other calendar or particular religious ideology." Cuddy told him primly and ate some more eggs. They really were very good. Was that chilli sauce?

"Translation; you don't want to have to leave the hospital short staffed over the holidays so you selflessly sacrificed your time in order to pander to that building." House told her dryly and she glared at him.

"When I take my vacation time is none of your business."

"Making it my business. You're spending the holidays with me." He shifted Katy in his hold when she grumbled and squirmed.

"I am not!" Her fork clattered onto the plate. "Just because you shoehorned your way into my Thanksgiving weekend does NOT mean that you can take over any more of my free time. I see enough of you as it is." She angrily went back to her food and missed the brief flash of emotion across his face. Had she been paying attention, she might even have been able to identify it.

"Hey, it was you that wanted a non-denomination festive celebration for the sprog. I must confess that I have absolutely no idea what that entails, so you're going to have to show me." He smirked at her. "Katy's emotional wellbeing is at stake."

Cuddy settled for another glare and decided not to dignify that with a response.

"Do you really think that I've matured enough in the last week or so to be left alone with a sprog for a _whole_ holiday by myself?" House smiled at her in a 'I've got you now' manner.

"No." Cuddy admitted and then slipped on a smirk of her own. "But Christmas is a month away, that's lots of time for you to start acting your age rather than your shoe size." She smiled at him brightly and clattered her cutlery onto her now empty plate. She rose and deposited it in the sink before relieving House of Katy and heading for the living room. "We're going to watch the news, have fun with the dishes!"

House looked about himself and then scowled.

Foxed.

He glared after her for a moment and then decided that he might as well just get it over with. He levered himself up out of his chair and started clattering dishes about the place.

"Don't break anything!"

He hunched his shoulders against the imperious order from the living room and plotted on how to get his revenge.

She wanted to Christmas shop? Fine.

That didn't mean he had to make it easy for her.

**$inister $cribe**

"For the love of…" Cuddy choked herself off and turned to glare at him while she heaved in a restraining breath. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." House gritted and clenched his hand on the head of his cane. He was toting the BBoBT over his shoulder and ignoring the extra strain on his leg as best he could. He had been content to watch Cuddy parade around with Katy pushed in the suped up four by four pram (which had damn near cost more than his CAR) and to trail after her while she picked up a bunch of stuff, that would be received by the intended recipient with a fake smile before being relegated to the back of the nearest closet and promptly forgotten about, and he'd even decided that he would spring for lunch since he had only allowed her plastic from her purse with which to pay for said useless purchases.

What he could not handle was if he got another _look._

Cuddy, despite exhibiting none of the psychological signs of a battered woman, definitely looked the part. The bruises were still livid across her face, the bandage on her elbow showed under the sleeve of her top and her limp was fairly evident, even under the long skirt she wore.

And, in every single store they had been into that day, people had taken one look at Cuddy and then one long look all the way up to House's full towering height before giving him a _look_ or staring daggers at his cane and even going so far on one occasion as to try and trip him up. Muttering obscenities at him as he stumbled.

The fact that he was far worse off than Cuddy in both the pain and limping stakes appeared to mean absolutely squat.

Cuddy, being a non-battered woman, was completely sodding oblivious. She sailed through the stores without a hitch, laughing and cooing at Katy and enjoying herself immensely.

Which almost made it worth it.

Almost.

She didn't even catch an inkling of what was going on until the last store they visited before lunch. She was picking up Christmas tree baubles of all things and locked in an animated conversation with the clerk behind the counter before finally realising that she did not have his full attention. She had seen him looking intently at her face just a second ago and then her arm…and then at House. Cuddy's eyes narrowed as she added it all up and got a conclusion that she didn't like in the slightest.

Oh, hell no.

She fumed silently for a second and considered what to do about this. It was his own fault, he had banned her from going inside her house for more than the time it took her to get fresh clothes. She hadn't had time for lip-gloss, never mind the time consuming task of covering the damage to her face. At least the swelling had gone down, the pain had subsided thanks to House's impromptu Vicodin prescription and all she was left with was a nicely hued rainbow face.

Still, he was suffering here. Other people were antagonising him…

…and that was _her_ job.

Cuddy hit upon a malevolent idea.

She asked the clerk to wrap her things up and waited for him to turn away to find boxes before enacting her plan. She sidled towards House and ignored the sideways look he shot her.

His Cuddy-dar was going off big time, usually this kind of spike immediately precluded her latest scheme to get him into clinic, but she seemed the picture of innocence…for now.

She stepped even closer under the pretence of looking more closely at the snow globes that House was methodically upsetting to cause entire neighbourhood white outs in miniature. She didn't stop until she was plastered against his side her hand skating up over his back to slide her fingers over the nape of his neck, toying with the baby soft hair there. She heaved a sigh, her breasts rubbing against his arm and having him fumble for his latest snow globe when he nearly dropped it. She traced her tongue over her lips and took her time about it, making sure that she had his -and the clerk's- complete and undivided attention.

"I'm _hungry._" She told him on a breathy purr and House went ramrod straight at the effect that had on him. His jaw clenched and Cuddy noticed the clerk try and look anywhere but at them.

"We can go for lunch next if you want." House smiled at her uncertainly. He hadn't quite figured out what was going on yet. Not that he didn't relish Cuddy plastered up against him like white on rice, but he knew she didn't have impure motivations at heart.

"Not for food." Her voice dropped a little and he gulped. She slid in front of him, sandwiching herself between him and the counter. Her hand fisted in his tee shirt and yanked him a little closer still. "I missed you last night. I feel all _tense_. You wouldn't take me because of possible concussion. You know, you looking after me, all concerned and attentive was _such_ a turn on." She rubbed herself against him a tiny bit. She was beginning to enjoy herself. Apparently it wasn't as fun for him once his own game was turned against him.

"Well…that'll learn you not to try and break the floor with your face." He said after a long moment of hard swallowing.

"I know, a little stupid of me, I'll look before leaping next time." Her fingers walked up over his chest and stroked in little circles over the exposed skin of his collar bones. "Besides, I want to make it up to you. Everybody's been staring at you, thinking you did this." She raised her voice a little and gestured at her face. She went up on her toes. "I want to show you my…_appreciation_ for putting up with it."

"People thinking that I beat _you_ up?" He sounded both offended and incredulous. He was playing along, oh good. She knew damn well that he had been fully aware to all the wild conclusions people had been jumping to. She leant back against the counter, tilting her pelvis with the movement so they were flush against each other. She grinned when she felt how into her character he was getting.

"How absurd," he choked, "much more likely that you'd beat me with my own cane. I wouldn't even be able to run away." He was beginning to sweat now and she grinned smugly to herself.

"Excuse me, that'll be fifty dollars seventy five cents." The clerk spoke tremulously behind her and Cuddy turned to see him, bending over the counter, still jammed up against House. He made a tiny strangled noise and looked to the ceiling as if it would help him out somehow.

"Here." She held out her card to him and noticed that House still hadn't moved away from being crammed up against her like they were. People were beginning to stare. Well, let them, she was feeling puckish. She waited patiently while her payment was made and then took the card back from the clerk, speaking casually.

"You know, assumptions are kind of like bombs." She slid the card into her shirt under her bra strap and bared her teeth at him. "Dangerous to make because they habit of blowing up in your face if you're wrong. Women have accidents too, you moron." She straightened up and pushed Katy's pram out of the store, reaching back to snag House by his tee shirt and tow him out after her.

"Come on, honey, we've not pulled a nooner in a whole week."

House, for his part, waved at the clerk with a huge grin on his face and followed his woman out of the store. He removed her hand from his shirt and took it in his own. Content to play along with the illusion so long as it gave him the excuse to touch her. She didn't pull away from him until they reached the restaurants at the food court.

He let her pick what they were going to have, dutifully took the pram so she could carry the tray and followed her obediently to the table. He had the same grin on his face, equal parts mischievous and lecherous, throughout. She caught the expression and frowned at him.

"What?"

"You just defended my honour."

"Did not." She denied it smoothly. "You don't have any honour to defend."

"The sentiment remains the same."

"There's no sentiment between us whatsoever." She muttered into her salad, clearly regretting her decision.

"So why did you do it?"

"I was feeling puckish." She grumbled and relented after long moments under the weight of his arched look. "Fine. They were making you miserable. More than usual, that is, and that's my job. No one gets to bully you but me." She finished and leaned over to check on Katy sleeping innocently in the pram. She looked back at him when she realised he was still staring at her.

"Get over it."

"Hey, I'm just impressed with the performance." He picked up a French fry and chomped it enthusiastically. "Worthy of a Golden Globe. I want you to know, even though I'm sitting down, I'm giving you a standing ovation." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes. "It saddens me that you're not a method actress." He grinned at her when her mind processed that and a flush crawled up over her neck towards her bruised cheeks.

"Don't expect more where that came from." She sniffed at him. "It was a one time thing. Don't mistake it for any actual feelings on my part."

"Uh-huh." He drawled at her and she frowned at him.

"Just because I defended you doesn't mean that I like you."

"Uh-huh." He leaned forward on his elbows and grinned even wider at her. "It does mean something though, doesn't it?"

Cuddy rocked back in her chair and looked at him with wide eyes.

She didn't have an answer for that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hmmmm, this did not at all go how i planned it to. I mean, this was always going to happen but this part of the story wasn't supposed to be until the third or fourth part. **

**Ugh, they are so...DIFFICULT sometimes!**

**Anyways, i ain't dead, yay! And, in a stunning fit of productivity i decided to get this chapter finally done and add to it, though it all seems to be a moot point at the moment since fanon has become canon. **

**Ah wells, i trust that y'all are still interested in Huddy fiction even if it's on the telly too?**

**Read, review and let me know if there's a point to my continued Huddy-writing. **

**Plotting, But Not As We Know It**

Cuddy poured herself another cup of coffee and cupped it in her hands as she stared blankly out of her kitchen window. There was nothing really of interest out there, just the empty meadow behind her house and the derelict shell of a building beyond that. She scowled as a work crew moved about the property opposite her home. They had kept her up most of the night with their drilling and hammering, apparently they needed to work until all hours, so she was not in the best of moods.

She gulped more coffee.

He was up to something.

She was sure of it.

He _had _to be.

Now, if she could only figure out what it was, she might be a lot happier about her position in life. As it was, she was still wrong footed where her resident misanthrope was concerned. He was still being…pleasant. There was no other word for it, really, and it was still so incongruous when coupled with House's name that her brain staggered every time she thought it.

More coffee.

She should really get on that. She made it her business to at least be aware of what he was doing, even if it was only in the most general of terms, and then decide if she would be better suited by ignoring his actions or censoring them completely. Sometimes it was better for everybody in the long run if he got what he wanted and sometimes she had to be the screeching voice of sanity in order to avert disasters.

Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't and, right now, he was winding up to something and she had no idea what. The game had changed and she had no idea what the new rules were. Now, not only did she have to look out for her livelihood, his and the collective staff of the hospital, but she had to make sure that he didn't push the Big Red Button on her personal life as well.

The last thing she needed was New World Order on that as well. It was difficult enough dealing with him solely at work, but now he was invading her home and her thoughts more often than not and she found herself thinking about him at the most inopportune times. Like during yesterday's board meeting, for example. She had very nearly agreed to give her Head of Surgery the Head of Psychology's parking space and half of his funding before she remembered that she actually _did_ think that therapy could help people and that it wasn't a waste of breath science as a certain surgeon had asserted.

Oy vey.

More coffee.

It occurred to her then and there that she really did have a thankless job and, recently, she had begun to question her commitment to it more and more.

Not just because of House and her inherent flight response whenever he got too close to her on an emotional level, but because she was becoming increasingly aware of the fact that she had very little to say about her life other than the fact that she was very good at her job. It was a very difficult job and there had been a time when it was everything she had wanted to be the youngest female Dean of Medicine anywhere (that woman in Britain didn't count) but that had been twenty years ago when she had been eighteen and thoughts of personal achievement had come a very poor second to sticking it to her mother and proving that she could not only do the job of a man but that she could do it _better_.

Now though…now temptation came in the form of a man with a cane and a baby in the crook of his arm. A man that was seven kinds of bad for her and a baby that threatened her very sanity. She didn't know if she could stand it to lose another tiny life, even if it was just to House's mercurial moods and deciding that he couldn't actually be bothered to keep a child. Cuddy sighed.

Then gulped some more coffee down.

It was _so_ tempting. The idea of giving in to him, to giving House exactly what he wanted had never held more appeal. Maybe it was just the sleep deprivation and the head trauma talking, but she wanted to be what the staff were talking about. She wanted to be involved in House's life in a more meaningful way. She wanted in his head and in his bed. She wanted to be a mother to Katy. She wanted…she wanted him to be the man he was pretending to be right now.

Cuddy looked down at her mug and frowned at the gravy thick liquid.

And that was the problem wasn't it?

Twenty years ago she had wanted nothing more than to be where she was now. Who was to say that in twenty years, hell, that in twenty _days_ that she wouldn't regret her decision to bank her heart on House having actually changed. Could she really believe that he was being truthful this time? That he wasn't just pretending to get what he wanted like she knew he was perfectly capable of doing?

Could she trust him?

Cuddy rinsed her now empty mug as she thought about it and was disappointed to realise her answer.

No.

She didn't trust him. Not in that way. She couldn't. Not yet. She didn't know what he had to do to prove himself to her. She didn't know if there was _anything_ he could do to wipe away the personality template that he fitted into in her mind. She had known him too long as That Guy.

That Guy that she wanted. The one she compared all other men to. The one that was brilliant and funny. The one that always made her smile, even as he made her want to cry. The one that had a chokehold on her emotions. The one she couldn't help but lo…no, not going there.

It didn't matter if he was That Guy or even The One.

It didn't matter because she didn't trust him and, without trust, there was nothing.

**$inister $cribe**

House watched Katy as she slept in her crib, but he wasn't really looking at her. Instead, he was playing with his Vicodin bottle, spinning it end over end and listening to the pills rattle around inside.

Other than that, he was thinking of Cuddy and she was increasingly invading his thoughts and taking up time and brain power that could be better spent elsewhere.

Yeah right, getting Cuddy into his bed and into his life in a more permanent and intimate manner had become his number one goal in life.

That and making sure he didn't screw up the sprog.

Cuddy thought he was up to something.

No, that wasn't strictly true. She _knew_ he was up to something she just hadn't figured out what yet. Which was important, because the next phase of his plan needed to be a complete surprise. If this was going to work, then he was going to have to keep her confused about what he was doing right up until he had her exactly where she wanted him.

He just needed to get her to realise that he was serious about her, about them, and that she could know that he wasn't going to throw it away.

Those were his stumbling blocks.

Not just getting her to trust him, but being able to trust himself not to screw it up the first time something difficult came along. House was a coward, he knew that much, he had spent his entire life running from things. First his father, then his responsibilities as a decent human being then from the pain. If it hadn't been physically, it had been emotionally or crawling into a bottle of scotch or pills.

Time to suck it up.

Time to be brave.

House let out a gusty sigh.

He'd really rather not be brave. He'd really rather have her come to him so he knew for definite that he was what she wanted. Him over anyone else. That wasn't going to work though. Not this time. He had to do all the leg work on this one and the irony was not lost on him. He twisted his mouth to the side as he mulled it over.

It had to be a grand gesture.

It had to be something big in order for her to believe in it.

House stilled as the thought made itself clear. Cuddy would trust him…he would trust himself…there was just one more thing he had to do first.

Just so he could be sure.

**$inister $cribe**

Cuddy opened the door and wasn't surprised to find him on the other side. She sighed and held it open to let him in. He had the baby bag slung over one shoulder and Katy in her car seat held in a white knuckled grip at his side. She smiled and waved at their little bundle and then looked up at House to ask him what he wanted.

The expression slid from her lips when she saw his face. He looked…_terrified._

"House, what's wrong?" Her hand closed over his on top of his cane and he forced a smile, shaking his head.

"Nothing." He swallowed hard. "I have a big favour to ask."

"Surprise, surprise." Cuddy pulled her hand away from his and ignored the flash of hurt in his eyes. She was far too interested in self preservation at the moment to care about his feelings. Especially since he was winding up to doing something stupid.

She could feel it.

"I need you to take Katy. Just for a few days."

"Why?" Oh God, what had he done? He looked scared and he was going somewhere. That added up to nothing good in Cuddy's book. "House, what is it?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. Just something I have to do." He held out the baby carrier to Cuddy and she had to take it. He dumped the bag on the floor and looked right into Cuddy's eyes. "I'm trusting you to keep her safe and…well, I should be back…soon. Best to take me off rotation for the foreseeable. Put Foreman in charge while I'm gone. Convince Chase and Cameron to step in if he needs help."

"House, you're scaring me." She reached out to his hand again and he turned it palm up to clasp hers in return, she was surprised but too worried to absorb the feeling properly. "Let me help you."

"You are helping me. You've helped me more than I deserve and…well. It's all in the bag." He smiled at her gently and cold fear for him coiled low in Cuddy's gut. His attempt at a reassuring smile was more frightening to her than him disappearing in the middle of the night with no warning or explanation whatsoever.

"Don't go." She gripped his hand suddenly. Fiercely, frightened of she didn't know what. "Stay, with me. Stay here with us."

House tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. He heaved in a deep breath and scrunched up his eyes, holding it for a long moment. Finally he gusted it out on a long sigh and looked back down at her.

"No." He took Katy's carrier from her and put it on the hallway table. "That's probably the hardest thing I've ever refused." He laughed hollowly as he unstrapped Katy from the carrier and hugged her tightly to his chest, he rested his forehead against blonde curls, Katy gripped his jacket collar, like she knew she was being left behind again. They were a mirror of the picture Cuddy still had as wallpaper on her cell. He rumbled to his daughter in a low voice and Cuddy's hands twisted together to stop herself from reaching out and clinging to him too.

"Now, you behave for Cuddles. I don't want any reports about sleep deprivation terrorist attacks or it's straight off to Gitmo with you." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and then handed her over to Cuddy, wrapping Cuddy's arms around the child when she made no move to do it herself.

She was numb and terrified all at the same time. This felt an awful lot like a goodbye and not a catch-you-later farewell either. He looked like he didn't know if he was coming back.

"Look after her." He reached up and pushed Cuddy's hair back out of her face.

"Look after yourself." She croaked at him.

"First time for everything." He smirked at her, stepping closer and his hand slid down past her ear and cupped the back of her neck, he gave the slightest tug and it was all Cuddy needed. She rocked forward up on her toes and his mouth came down on hers.

The kiss was surprisingly gentle and sweet. A direct antithesis to the hard and fast domination he had pulled on her in the garage. He held her as close as he was able without crushing Katy and there was an edge of desperation to him but he pulled away before he could change his mind and lose his resolve. He smiled at her again.

"I'll be back soon."

"Will you?" Cuddy stepped forward as he stepped back out onto the front step. She reached out with one hand and clasped the door as tight as she was able. She had hoped it would ground her a little, but all she got was sore fingers.

"As soon as I'm able."

She knew a deflection when she heard one but he moved away and turned to limp to his car before she could call him back. He opened the door, tossed his cane inside and then ducked in after it. He lifted his hand and waved as the engine rumbled to life and then he backed out of the drive, onto the street, and drove away.

Cuddy swallowed hard as she watched the tail lights disappear around the street corner and tried not to think that she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life.

**$inister $cribe**

Several hours later, House rattled the key in the lock of the cabin's front door and stepped inside. The lights were already on and a fire was already burning in the hearth.

"House?" A woman's voice called for him.

"Yeah." He looked up as she walked through from the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. She had her long hair tied back and there was an expression of carefully covered strain on her face. She looked almost as nervous as he felt.

"Hi." Angelina smiled tightly at him. "I have to admit, I'm surprised you came."

"So am I." House huffed out a breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "It was a close thing every time I saw a junction."

"I'll bet." Angelina nodded slowly and then bit her lip. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Nope." He shrugged. "I have to see if I can resist temptation."

Angelina nodded slowly and dropped the towel over the back of a nearby chair. She planted her hands on her hips.

"I don't do this. I've never done," she waved her hand between them, "THIS with clients."

"It's alright." House pulled his jacket from his shoulders. "Let's get this over with."

"Alright," she folded her arms over her chest. She jerked her chin at him.

"Take off all your clothes."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Uuuuuuhh…yeah. Short update to up the ante a little. **_

_**More to come soon. **_

_**By soon I mean…between now and never :D**_

_**Read and review!**_

**People You Can Call At Three in the Morning**

Cuddy worried.

It was sort of what she did.

But this kind of worry was somehow worse. It was the worry of a woman's intuition.

Something was wrong. She could _feel_ it. Somewhere out there, House was in trouble. It would be stupid to say that he was in pain, because she knew he was always in pain, but, somehow, she knew this time it was worse. He was still alive, daily text messages let her know he was still out there somewhere. He asked for daily updates on Cuddy and Katy's health but he never called and, whenever she called him, she got nothing but voicemail.

She was so worried, in fact, that it appeared to be masquerading as alternates between swinging lows of depression, manically intense bouts of efficiency which tended to terrify the staff and a kind of giddy hysteria that had her speaking just a little too loudly and a little too brightly to anyone who asked her how she was.

Still, nothing she could do about it. He had been gone for four days now and, as much as she might want to roam the halls of the hospital weeping, she didn't think it would do much for staff morale…or for Katy. The little tyke had become even more insistent on keeping Cuddy close since House had up and disappeared. It had become impossible to put Katy in the creche in the hospital as she simply would not stop crying.

Most babies cried themselves out after a while, it was how the maternity ward managed not to be a solid wall of sound all the time, but sometimes not crying babies were worse and it was when Katy had finally fallen silent that the nurse on duty had given in and brought her down to Cuddy's office.

So Cuddy had to keep it together, keep the hospital running and comfort a grieving child who didn't even understand why she felt so sad.

Outstanding.

She was going to kill House when he got back.

If he got back.

No, when. There was no way the Universe would have put her through so damn much if she wasn't at least afforded the karmic payback of murdering the misanthropic bastard. Otherwise, what was the point in living?

It did not stop her imagination running around screaming at the top of its lungs though. It had been day three before she'd finally taken a moment to tell said same imagination that it needed to hush up and be still or it wouldn't be allowed out anymore.

So, three and a half days of teetering on the edge of hysterical worry -holding herself together with a mixture of iron will supports, a web of responsibilities and the duct tape of sheer stubborn cussedness- and Cuddy finally cracked.

Mercifully, it was at home and Katy was down for the night. Merci_less_ly, it came in the form of simple black and white, damningly official looking, legal documentation.

Everything was organised. _Everything_. She had been methodically working her way through the house from top to bottom and making sure everything was just so. Having the destructive presence of a baby in the house gave her an excuse to rinse and repeat the process pretty much every day but there was only so much discord something the size of a large handbag could cause and Cuddy had finally been forced to _find _mess so that she could continue with her cathartic OCD.

Cuddy had been in the midst of emptying the Baby Bag (properly, not just skimming the top three quarters of its contents) when her hands had crinkled over something that didn't sound like a book and was the wrong shape to be a nappy. Hauling it out, Cuddy had been puzzled at first when confronted with a seemingly innocent brown envelope. It was open, and House had left the bag with her, so Cuddy didn't see the harm in taking a peek. Besides, served him right if it was private, leaving it in her care and all that. Cuddy hauled the thick wedge of sheets out and flipped through them blandly -anything for a distraction- and slowed to a halt when words began to jump out at her.

Words like 'serviceable body and sound mind', 'sole beneficiary', 'legal guardian' and 'in the event of untimely death'.

Cuddy was diving over the couch and snatching up the phone before she had fully processed what she was doing. Her thumb had punched two on speed dial and she held her breath while it rang. There was no guarantee of an answer, not this late at night and not if Ben had just gotten home from work and was busy distracting…

"This had better be bloody marvellous, I was just getting his shirt off." A cultured British accent snarked down the phone. Carmen sounded more than a little out of breath.

"I need your help." Cuddy's voice broke and she gulped in a breath, forcing herself to remain in control, her eyes burned. "House disappeared, he left…he's saying everything goes to me."

There was a moment of long silence on the other end of the line as Carmen digested what her friend had just said.

"We'll be there in twenty."

**$inister $cribe**

It was actually seventeen and a half minutes before a British Racing Green Jaguar and a hulking black Dodge bumped up onto the sidewalk outside Cuddy's house practically simultaneously.

Carmen and Paloma had walked into Cuddy's house as if they owned it and found her still sitting stunned in the middle of the living room floor with the documents spilled across the floor and the phone in her hand wailing quietly in the way that one does when it hasn't been disconnected from a call.

"Oh, honey." Paloma's voice was soft as she knelt down in front of Cuddy and pulled the phone gently from her grasp. She hung up on a conversation that had long since ended and slid her arms under Cuddy's, pulling her to her feet and steering her back onto the couch. She carefully wiped away the tears streaming silently down Cuddy's face and then sat beside her, wrapping her arms around her friend and just holding onto her.

"Carmen?"

"One minute, love." Carmen had gathered up the pages scattered on the floor in record time and was speed reading at an almost alarming rate. She flipped through them, electric eyes scanning everything at an almost subconscious rate and, when she finally lifted her head and met Paloma's gaze, she nodded once.

"It's all official. Everything in here." Carmen flipped the pages. "I even know the bloke that wrote them up. Bloody good lawyer."

Cuddy gave a sort of coughing derelict sound and folded in on herself, resting her head against her knees and gulping in deep breaths.

Fine, Paloma thought, time to step up to the plate.

"Honey," Paloma slid off the couch and knelt in front of her friend, "Lisa." She spoke a little more sharply that time and Cuddy finally managed to lift her head and look at her friend. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked more _tired_ than anything else.

"Can you tell me anything about where he might have gone?"

"He didn't say." Cuddy shook her head and scrubbed at her eyes with the heel of one hand.

"I'm going to need a list of all his friends, people he might have gone to. I need to know any enemies he might have made and I'm going to need his cell number."

"He doesn't have any friends." Cuddy shook her head and leaned into Carmen when she sat down next to her and wrapped an arm over her shoulders. "As for enemies…too many people pissed off over the years to count."

"Alright," Paloma kept her voice calm, she slipped into her professional mode and picked up Cuddy's cell from the hallway table. She found the number and then took out her own cell, punching in a number from memory and lifting it to her ear. She stepped out into the hallway and shut the door quietly behind her, murmuring to whoever had picked up on the other end.

Cuddy frowned.

"What's she doing?"

"Presumably what she does for a living." Carmen murmured as she rubbed Lisa's shoulders and back. Her friend was cold, shocky, best to try and keep her anchored in the here and now.

"Did you ever figure out what exactly it was that Paloma _does?_" Cuddy wrung her hands together.

"Never. I even had her followed once. I know she has the license for several firearms and a permit to carry concealed. Her passport's got morse stamps than a bloody post office. She was involved with the military at some point and then some sort of security company but…the trails always go cold." Carmen hugged Cuddy tighter and smiled. "You know what that means though, don't you?"

"That she's still a freaking mystery even after twenty years of knowing her?"

"No, that she's fantastic at what she does. She'll find him. She'll bring him back to you." Carmen smiled broadly despite the unspoken '_even if he's in a body bag'_ hanging in the air between them. "Is Katy alright?"

"She misses him." _Probably as much as I do._ "What does this mean?" She looked down at the papers. "Are they really real?"

"Afraid so, love." Carmen stroked her hair back and smiled gently. "It's his Last Will and Testament." She flipped through the pages again, measuring the physical, legal and spiritual weight of them. "Everything goes to you. Even custody of Katy."

Outside in the hallway, Paloma sighed and hung up on one call only to punch in another number and hold the phone to her ear. He was the last man she wanted to call, but there it was, he was who she needed and Paloma, in certain circles, was well known for doing what had to be done no matter how distasteful she found it.

The line finally clicked and a sleep mussed voice demanded who the hell was calling him and how they had gotten this number.

"Detective Tritter," Paloma glanced back through the glass panels of the living room door to make sure she wasn't overheard.

"I believe we have a somewhat mutual friend."


End file.
